I know I'm in trouble when I 'need' to play Hay Day/Farm on my phone instead of the ten other pressing things on my to do list that I 'should' be doing. No motivation. Resistance. The silly game gives me the illusion of competence and control when I'm feeling out of control and upset.
So after 30 minutes of playing Hey Day and feeling tension in my shoulders and upset stomach - I figured it out: I'm needing support, some part of me is wanting a voice. I was feeling sad and confused. I decided I needed to move, a dance party to shift my energy. I put on music, super loud, so I could dance and stretch and move my upset and let it express itself. Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw, and then No Better Love by Hozier. What an amazing and necessary emotional release. Permission to be myself, to cry, to be exactly where I was.
I Self-Connected and my energy shifted to where I could write a blog with joy rather than obligation. The best part of when I reach this Self-Connected state, rather than a reactive state, is that when my kids come home, I am present to them instead of triggered by things they say and do. I am able to listen and hold space for where ever they are without the impulse to 'teach, help, correct, advise, fix or judge' them.
Part of my sadness was realizing how much of my life I've spent toughing it out, being strong, 'doing' life. And when I give myself permission NOT to be super-woman, that it is OK, and in fact important to need support and to feel and to drop balls, then I am connected to Life's energy; I feel spacious and centered. And all it took was 2 songs and movement. Could have been a poem. Or journaling my thoughts, body scan, feelings and values. Or a no-agenda, no purpose walk. Or...you choose.
Come learn to Re-Center rather than React~
Drop in sessions in December $25
Wednesday or Thursday 12/7 or 12/8 9:30am-11am
Thriving in Family Conflict
Wednesday or Thursday 12/14 or 12/15 9:30am-11am
Drop Balls, Slow Down, Self-Care