Seeing The Unmet Needs Underneath
Their Anger And Defiance
By their very nature, spirited and passionate children (AKA stubborn, defiant) are afraid of being controlled. They hate to be told what to do. Unfortunately, their instinctive strong willed nature drives us, the parents, into conflict when using traditional parenting methods, which is that the parent should be in control.
When you realize this is their nature, you can notice two things about their behavior:
1) How often and how easy it is to interpret it as defiance or disrespect.
2) That there may be more to the story when you consider unmet needs and that their anger is covering up their fear of being controlled.
With this new mindset of nature v. willful 'bad behavior' you can more easily see their beautiful complexity. Their independence. Their yearning to be seen, heard, respected and valued. That they are perfect just the way they are.
With this mindset and these skills you are empowered! You can crack the code of how not to trigger each other and how not to take their behavior personally. You bring harmony into your parenting style and home.
LESSON 1: Stopping Hard Family Dynamics
Living with a child that triggers you; what to do to stop that hard family dynamic.
Strong Willed Child Podcast: LISTEN HERE
LESSON 2: Integration Journal Exercise
Reflect on your child and write about these questions.
What is one thing you heard in the podcast that you'd like to try to implement?
Reflecting on your child, what do you understand about them better now?