December has so many extras that it is easy to get lost in becoming a task master. Running from one to do to the next to get it all done on time.
So in the name of balance, I carved out 20 minutes to get quiet and check inward.
From the silence within, I discovered want to say YES to fun, play and connection with friends.
I am super serious and practical in my drive to be competent and keep balls in the air. These traits are my superpowers, but also my armor.
I'm guessing many of you can relate.
So in the service of meeting needs, from my inner quiet, I am saying YES to:
a wreath making class with my friend and a chance to meet some new women
a social potluck with all of us for a board I'm on
daily exercise, even if only 15-20 minutes QiGong or yoga or jumping in my office
YOUR TURN: What are your unmet needs right now? What could you say YES to to meet them?
In the service of balance, from my inner quiet, to carve out more space for 1:1 connection, I am saying NO to:
getting a christmas tree. Instead we decorated our ornaments on an indoor ficus plant/tree plus some hanging plants and a bookshelf. (our kids are older and we'll be away seeing family for most of the break, but this was still hard to be OK and let go of)
Not rushing around getting presents. Instead we decided on experience gifts. (again, there is a part of me that feels like I'm a Mom failure. Won't they be disappointed... there won't be anything to 'unwrap'. This isn't what's expected, what we're supposed to do, so it's hard to be OK with going against my conditioning.)
Wallowing and getting stuck in my spin out. Instead I'm taking time to stop. Do a body scan (pressure in my chest, clenched jaw, numb.) What am I feeling? (yucky, doubt, scared, unsure which sends me into shame.) Ask, what are my unmet Needs? (partnership, connection, ease) Realize when I'm in a shame spiral of feeling not enough, judging, comparing, blaming, inner critic voice on a rant. Reality check the story. Then fill my tank and know that I'm worth it. I matter too.
YOUR TURN: What are you saying YES to right now? What needs are you meeting? What could you say NO to? What needs would that meet?
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