There is Nothing More Satisfying Than Working with Your Heart; and it is Hard
I have been building a business for the past year. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. The emotional swings are death defying roller coaster plunges and heights.
The highs are seeing parents understand and have them say, ‘Now I have hope.’ or ‘I finally get that my son isn’t doing this TO me, that he is just being himself and it is how I’m taking it. I don’t have to take it personally.’ or ‘I always leave class feeling re-energized and ready to connect with my family.’
The lows have been not having as many students as I’d hoped this fall. Being vulnerable and admitting that I’m struggling. I’m discouraged. The story I’m making up is that it should be easier. My body scan is that I'm hot, my heart is racing, my breathing is shallow and I feel like hiding under a blanket. I’m telling myself that it should be different, these tools are so good everyone should want them. I feel confused. I am yearning for trust, to contribute, and to be seen.
It is hard work feeling the upset of frustration, discouragement, sadness, anger. No * Fun # At % All. I want to leap frog over the discomfort like I’ve been doing most of my life. And yet it is through feeling, experiencing the energy of my emotions, noticing my body sensations, differentiating my thoughts and experiencing the energy of my values that I find peace. That I feel alive. That I am real. That I am able to connect with my friends, my spouse, my kids.
When I role model this work for my kids, they see that they too can have more authenticity, feel empowered to be themselves, not feel like they have to pretend to be better than they are or that they should be different than they feel. There is nothing like the relief and spaciousness of being allowed to be where you authentically are. Ahhhhh. Acceptance.