How to Interrupt Stress and Anxiety

One of the hardest parts of being a parent for me is supporting my kids when they are feeling intense emotions. Like anxiety. Or anger. Or stress and overwhelm. I just want to make them feel better. Fix the reason for their pain. Honestly, I think it was so I could feel like a good Mom and not worry about them. And because their pain became my pain, their anxiety my anxiety, their anger, my anger. Ugh!

Can you relate?

Fast forward a bunch of years, my daughter is now an oncology nurse at Vanderbilt in Nashville and still struggles with anxiety. Sometimes she, like many people, can just wake up with a racing heart and the physical symptoms of stress. Or she can be thinking about a procedure at work, getting somewhere on time, a friend situation and start to feel anxious to the point of being nauseous and unwell. Worse, she can get stuck spinning out in these thoughts or scrolling social media that can feed stressful images into her mind.

She called me today in this state and we did this 2 part practice that is reliable to interrupt an anxious reaction and reset the nervous system.

Curious? What to try it with your own current stress?

Or does one of your kids often feel anxious? Even to the point of having it overwhelm them? I resonate and it's hard, scary.

Reliable Practice Part I: Interrupt Anxiety/Stress and Reset the Nervous System

This uses the first 2 steps in the 5 Steps To Connect Framework:

Step 1 MEET, See and Accept Your Child Where they are (Hint: The key is to model this with yourself first) 

vs. Old patterns of judging how you think they should be/how you should be  

I met my daughter where she was, crying, upset, and overwhelmed. Anxious to the point of a panic attack. Fast heart rate. Couldn't catch her breath. Crying so hard her head hurt. Meeting her means I didn't try to talk her out of her upset. This was my old habit, to want to make her feel better and fix things. It's why the key is to do the steps on yourself first. Rather I listened to her with acceptance. Without any agenda. Supporting her not being alone in these hard, intense feelings.

Step 2 VALIDATE AND GIVE EMPATHY Notice Body Wisdom, Emotions & Unmet Needs (Hint: Key is to model this with yourself first) 

vs. Old patterns of speaking/acting from Rational or Reactive Mindsets  

Then I validated her emotions. I let her know I understood how much she was hurting. That it made sense she was distraught with everything she was holding (12h shift, learning a new profession, political roller coaster, her roommate's puppy's intense barking and energy interrupting her lunch.) My presence and words gave her empathy.

Reliable Practice Part II: 3-10 min Interrupt Your Stress Reaction

This is also contained in the 5 Steps to Connect Step 2 above: to notice your Body Wisdom and elect a movement practice like the one below.

3-10 min Interrupt Your Stress Reaction Practice with QiGong

To interrupt my sense of upset/threat/numb these 5 clear, easy-to-do-anywhere QiGong moves get me back into my body, stop my auto reaction and ground my nervous system better than anything.

Whether I'm triggered and reactive or just stuck in my thoughts w/ anxious stress energy coursing through me, these reliably get me back to a feeling of wellness.

Try this practice along with me watching this short teaching video:

Let me know how this goes for you and your kids!