Do you feel overwhelmed parenting your often obstinate, disrespectful child?
Are you afraid your hard family dynamics are hurting your relationship and at a loss about how to change?
I hear you as I was in your shoes. There is hope. My daughter and I are living proof.
Infograph Tool to Use When Faced
with an Angry and/or Inflexible Child
I'm a parent just like you. My oldest is strong willed and parenting her was so frustrating. I was alternately angry and irritated or felt awful and discouraged, like I had no idea what I was doing. She would resist, refuse, scream, backtalk, yell, act mean towards her sister, kick in doors, then as she got older eye roll, sass, disrespect... just hard.
Then I learned tools that changed everything. I realized I wasn't alone and it didn't have to be so hard.
Now I share how to do this with parents in struggle with their own strong willed child.
You too can transform ugly family dynamics into possibilities for understanding and connection.
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"I wasn't sure if I "really" needed the coaching, were our family dynamics that bad...I don't have bad kids, so was this really necessary? But Wow, what a turn around! When we use the steps and the scripts, we relate SO MUCH better. But the biggest Ah Ha was practicing S.T.O.P. when we're angry or upset instead of plowing forward. That's what really turned things around, the behavior change has been remarkable! I really do appreciate Allison's parenting viewpoint & mindset on 'bad/inflexible' behavior. She brings an understanding, non-judgmental approach that says everything is normal and OK. We're human. We get to take off our armor and be real and messy. That helped me battle my shame gremlins. I really felt like I was sharing with someone who's really been through this after just the 1st session! I look forward to taking more group coaching sessions as I recognize I still have a way to go on my own emotional intelligence so I can be the Mom, wife and person I know I can be."
"Prior to Allison's Group Coaching Program, our youngest child was rude, spoke disrespectfully when he didn't get his way and taunted his siblings to get attention. Now- I understand his nature so don't get as triggered by his reactions as much. I'm better able to not take it personally which is what was actually causing my reactions in the first place. I get less defensive and recenter more quickly. Seeing how to shift my perspective was a huge eye-opener that I am very grateful for. I really love 3 VITAL THINGS tips and scripts. I use these all day and my kids respond to them. It's us against the problems instead of us against each other! So much more fun! I REALLY love the group support!"
"We felt like we had tried everything in our knowledge and power and weren't getting anywhere. Our son was having several meltdowns a day. He would go from 0-60 over the littlest thing and there was no calming him down. We were losing our patience with him and with each other far more often than we would like. After, I would feel so anxious and hopeless. Would he ever be able to get along in the world and have a normal life?!? The changes that we have seen in our family dynamics are too numerous to count. We always knew that our son was strong willed, but now we know exactly what that means and how to help him in everyday things. The daily fights have decreased and although they still occur, we feel like we have the strategies to handle them in a more understanding and effective way than before. It makes such a difference for me to not get as triggered when I realize that he was born with a strong willed nature, so he's not doing anything intentionally to me. I don't take it as personally. Now we are able to see our children in a way we couldn't quite grasp before."
"I began 5 Steps to Connect, as it says on the website, to take the time for my emotional health. I was seeking peace in my family as raising twins can be quite a challenge. I was feeling hopeless and out of ideas. I think this has been a unique class on child-raising in that it is not a one style fits all. After 6 weeks, I am feeling more centered and am starting to have the tools to handle different situations and really becoming a more present parent."
"I knew the 5 steps to connect framework was working when I was feeling pinched for time and wondered out loud if I should go. My daughter immediately said, "Oh yes Mama, you come back so much happier, like a new Mama!" Being able to express my emotions and be real in front of other parents who understood how hard parenting a strong willed child is - meant so much to me. Naming shame to melt it's power like the ghost busters and getting underneath the intense behavior to the values underneath have changed our lives!"
"I'm so glad I came to your workshop! Two days later my daughter had a challenging situation with her friends at school. She was upset. Normally I would have given her advice and I wanted to jump in and help her resolve it. Instead I used Life-Saving Listening and it worked! She opened up and felt so empowered being able to talk it through and resolve it herself. It was amazing for me to see how my own triggers were stimulated. It was hard, but I didn't speak or act from them. If I didn't have your tools I wouldn't have been able to do that and have it work out so well."
